So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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