saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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