It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
