I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
