Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
