My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
