Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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