i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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