Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I could fuck to npr.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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