I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
