woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
