So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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