I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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