Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
