mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
