shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
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I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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