i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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