Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
