she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
