Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
