Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
