just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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