You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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