my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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