i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he shaved USA in his pubs
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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