do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
