ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
