Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
