we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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