and you said cock pushups were impossible
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Green mimosas i think yes
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
