I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
