IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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