It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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