I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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