I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize