I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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