saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
