HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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