hotel room ftw
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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