Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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