marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
4 words: hood of his car
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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