some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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