if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She is in my trunk
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
