You're so nebulous sometimes
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
