Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize