i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
