bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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