im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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