I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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