highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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