If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
