I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
