Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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