Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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