Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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