What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
