he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
